ok so me and my boyfriend were like best friends before we started dating and we were completely surprised when the time came. whenever i had another boyfriend, i would always go to him when i needed to get through something, not my boyfriend at the time of the crisis, so i mean me and by bf now are pretty close friends and theres nothing that i would want more than to be his best friend. being his girlfriend is just a perk that i love....heres our story...
Theres alot that i want you to know. And i want you to know that whatever i say, im not just saying it just to say it i really mean it. From the moment that i saw him i knew that i was going to have to be friends with him. Some way, somehow it was going to happen. So i walked up to him on the first day of school and introduced myself, with of course my best friend on my side because theres that part of me thats not very outgoing and shy and afraid she might embarrass herself. Especially in front of someone that mattered. So at the beginning of the year me and him were kinda friends and then came that time that we drifted apart for reasons not going to be mentioned. At that time i was kind of disappointed because it felt like i was going to lose someone that i really cared about. He was the one that i would always go running to, in a way, when something was bothering me or if something was wrong. He would always ask what was the matter so how could i pass up the perfect opportunity to get closer to him. Because thats all i really wanted. Secretly that is. No one really knew. So when times got harder for me and people were being complete jerks to each other, i really drifted away from him and i didnt like it at all. I felt hurt actually and it was all because there are just cruel, jealous guys in the world that i wish i have never met. So then waldameer (a local amusement park) came along and we were all just hanging out. We were having fun and acting normal with nothing holding us back. I loved that feeling and i honestly can say that i will probably never forget that day because it was like the happiest day of my life. So when it was the girls all together and the guys all together, i figured what the heck a perfect time to tell some friends of mine a secret that ive been keeping for quite awhile. And i was completely surprised when one said "theres definately some kind of feelings toward you too". You have no idea how much that sentence meant to me. I dont know if she was saying it just to make me feel good or if thats something that was really said but it felt amazing to hear. So of course we all got back together and to me it was awkward because i didnt know what to do or how to act. Then the day continued. And some how me and him kept getting closer and closer. Not really physically but emotionally. Well thats how it felt to me and at the same time i was feeling lots of things. I was feeling guilty (because i was still with my ex at the time), happy, confused, nervous, anything that you could possibly think of. Most importantly i was so glad that i didnt have to hide anything anymore. I felt so relieved. That day i got rid of something that i didnt need(my ex) and gained something that meant so much more to me and that was him. And obviously those few days in school were the most awkward days of them all but im very glad of how everything turned out. I got what i wanted. If that sounds bad i dont mean for it to. He means everything and anything to me and i dont think that anyone or anything will be able to change that. Nothing will be able to change what i feel about him. We're friends that can talk about anything they want and thats my favorite thing. I love him and i hope he knows that.
So why im really writing in this..the other day he told me on the phone that once we broke up(or if we broke up) that he wouldnt talk to me for about the first week after and then he would start talking to me again until he found another girlfriend. he said that he doesnt talk to his ex-girlfriends when he has a girlfriend which i understand completely..but i dont think that dating him is worth losing our friendship and i get teary eyed everytime that i think about that moment in time that hasnt even happend yet.
i love him, i really do. we have known each other long enough that we can talk about anything. you name it, we can talk about it. and that really does mean alot to me and theres nothing theres nothing that i want more than to be his friend and i want him to be the friend that i can ALWAYS come to when something is bothering me or theres something that i want to talk about with him. im really going to miss him if/when that time comes and i get all shook up everytime i think about it or talk about it to him and i dont think that should be happening but thats how much i care about him and i dont know what to do.
i just really needed to vent some more so thank you for reading my boring story...
Sheryl
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